Taipei City Mayor, Wen-je Ko, was invited by TED Talk to share his view on life and death as he was a distinguished doctor in the field of Extra-corporeal Membrane Oxygenation (ECMO), an extra-corporeal technique of providing cardiac and respiratory functions to support people whose heart and lungs are unable to provide enough oxygen to sustain life. His expertise internationally acclaimed his use of machines to keep patients alive as long as to 16 days without a heart. His most successful case was a man with minimal lung capacity living through ECMO for 117 days! He claimed that he probably is the physician who has seen most cadavers during his leading role in the ECMO field in Taiwan. In his video, he shared his experiences in saving lives and witnessing numerous deaths. His answer to the question of death is the question “What does it mean to be alive?” If we live on machines, does it mean we are still alive? With our regular breathing and heart beating, does it mean we are living?

This really makes me rethink about my life and my role as a family therapist. What do I do to make my life influential? I remember the first time I thought about this was in my high school. Clearly, I knew that I was going to do something for the benefits of others because I believed that it was the only way to make life meaningful. I also knew that I was going to honour each individual’s differences despite their social status, which was a strong indicator of who we were in my culture. However, I went through various stages of challenges. In the first stage, I struggled with these concepts as I laid my judgments on people who I believed were just wasting their lives for nothing, like using drugs. My honouring was not unconditional. In the second stage, I learned to leave them alone as a way to respect their decisions, but I could not do anything for them or with them. Lastly, I understood that they might not make the best decisions, but I could offer my compassion and empathy to be there for them although I disagreed with their choice. I realized that life is way more complicated than I had thought as a high school student.

Recently, I studied Dan Siegel’s interpersonal neurobiology and learned that his belief of the signs of a well-integrated brain is demonstrated through kindness and compassion. The definition of kindness is “doing something to benefit others without reward” and compassion is “taking action to reduce suffering of others”. Finally, I realized this is the stage of my life where I want to treat people with kindness and compassion regardless what, how, where, or who they are. After all, I know that I will be at peace.

References:

Ko, Wen-je. (February 13, 2016). The wisdom of life and death. Taipei, Taiwan. TEDx Taipei 2013. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0zhdMwD2Z8

Siegel, D. (2012). Pocket guide to interpersonal neurobiology: An integrative handbook of the mind. New York, W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Siegel, D. (2015). Workshop notes: Mindfulness, mindsight and the brain: What is mind and the mental health? October 20-21, 2015. New Westminster, British Columbia: Canada.